This might be a bit much for men to swallow but NCP hired a TV driving instructor to examine a month of CCTV footage of 2,500 drivers. He looked at accuracy and time taken amongst other things. When he’d finishes he found, to his surprise, that women scored 13.4 out of 20 against an average of 12.3 for men.

He was surprised because he says in his experience “men have always been the best learners and performed better in lessons”.

That is backed up by driving test results which I posted about last year.

The study found that women tended to take the first available space in car parks, parked in reverse (the recommended method) more often than men, but took 30% longer to park, probably because they shuffled the car around before they switched off the engine.

First, in fairness to men, this study was NOT about parallel parking which women find more difficult than men. (And I make no excuses for re-posting this example of a woman driver’s attempts to park. Pity it wasn’t on the NCP CCTV).

Secondly it takes no account of other factors which I think men do consider. For example do you want to go into that first parking space when you realise you’ll be parked next to an old banger or a car which has already had a collision? Do you want to park next to the dumping space for trolleys and risk a runaway trolley hitting your car? Do you want to park somewhere you might have to queue to get out?

Finally the study didn’t take account of how long it took women to get out of a car parking space. What do women do when they return to their cars? They unload the trolley and put it way, that’s fine. Then they sit in the driving seat for ages before pulling out to let you in.

Are they keeping you waiting for the fun of it? Are they checking the contents of their handbag? Phoning their other halves or best friends to tell them of the bargain they’ve just bought? Switching off their mobile phones or transferring to hands-free (as if!)? Touching up their make-up?

All I’m saying is that there’s more to parking a car than slowly reversing it into the first available space in a car park.

We haven’t reached the level of Manhattan where half the households are single person but it seems we’re getting there.

Turner points out  that in the 1970s it was mainly old people who lived alone. Now, in addition to what she calls late-onset divorces and couples splitting up once the kids have left home, young people are getting married later (although I suspect there might be a dip in these figures reflecting the recession and the fact that many adult children are back at home with parents saving for a deposit for a home).

When I posted on “Living together apart”  two years ago it was about the increasing phenomenon of couples, estimated to be a million of them, who chose to keep their own homes even when in a relationship.

Various reasons have been put forward including modern homes being too small for all the accrued possessions and people wanting their own space or style.

Whatever the reason gone are the days when couples would stay together out of habit when the relationship had died.

Sadly women still come off better when they are left on their own, probably because they know how to look after themselves whereas men are less capable in that respect.

I’ve posted before about some of the ridiculous ideas to deal with poor teachers and what some head teachers have said eg about the firmness of their breasts and why their pupils are thick (inbreeding apparently).

I’ve also complained about the way weak heads reward failure and recycle poor teachers by giving them good references. Well no more it seems.

Michael Gove, the Education Secretary, is finally introducing new powers in September which should enable poor teachers to be dismissed within a term rather than in a year as at present. The present 3 hour limit on observing teachers in the classroom will also be scrapped so schools can use their discretion.

More importantly the recycling of poor teachers – letting them move elsewhere with a good reference, what Americans call the dance of the lemons – could be nipped in the bid if the proposals that would place a duty on schools to share information about a teacher’s performance go through.

Of course not everybody likes these ideas. The heads are broadly in agreement but will have to get their weaker colleagues to grasp the nettle and actually manage.

The NASUWT seems to be in complete denial about the problem saying: “there’s no evidence which demonstrates there are problems with the present system.

And a head of a university Institute of Education thought more emphasis should be placed on continuing professional development and Master’s degrees – but a university would say that wouldn’t it?

The new CEO of Tesco, Phil Clarke, who pockets almost £7 million a year has promised to make changes. He has blamed his predecessor, retail god Sir Terry Leahy, indirectly and says they became too focused on price. The Big Price Drop campaign suffered a bit of a backlash from customers who realised that Tesco was robbing Peter, in this case their double points, to pay for Paul.

If things hadn’t been so tough maybe we wouldn’t have noticed. But it’s now common practice to hike up prices before dropping them again, not always back to where they were, and claiming price cuts.

Analysts say Tesco needs to focus on its range, quality, and service. It slashed wage bills to boost profits and to finance foreign expansion. Did you know there are 200 Tesco stores in Hungary? But they are struggling in the USA.

It was obvious that there weren’t enough staff when you saw the queues and the closed checkouts at peak times. In my local Tesco Extra I’ve asked many times for them to open extra checkouts but the management say they don’t have enough staff (who seem to work office hours). They close the “fewer than 10 items” tills and try to get you to use the self-service machines with all the hassle that entails not to mention threatening more jobs.

And then there are some ethical issues. This weekend Carole Cadwalladr in the Observer mentioned the whales and dolphin snacks sold in Japan and reminded us of the pig farmers who ended up subsidising the stores. And do customers realise that it’s the suppliers who take the hit for the BOGOF offers not the supermarkets?

And what about the Chief Operating Office who conveniently sold some of his shares just before the share price dropped? Are we really to believe he didn’t have a clue about the profits warning? And if he didn’t shouldn’t he have seen the figures as part of his job? (NB Since moved from his job).

So Tesco are promising to improve customer service and employ more staff. The CEO has also poured cold water on further megastore expansion as non-food items are increasingly being bought on-line.

That will be good news for rivals and perhaps smaller shops as Tesco has  aggressively pursued store expansion in the past but can we learn to love Tesco again?

I hate those self-service scanning machines in supermarkets

From what I’ve seen these are tedious to use with various menus to search through, don’t always work, and require staff on standby to help – and presumably deter theft.

The theft deterrence obviously doesn’t work as 7% of shoppers admit stealing when using self-service machines.

So you don’t have to be a celebrity to steal – like chef AWT. But celebs have always been partial to the odd freebie. Richard Madeley of “Richard & Judy” fame was once charged with shop-lifting champagne at Tesco’s but was acquitted after claiming memory loss. Not sure what AWT is claiming after being caught on camera five times and receiving a police caution but he says he’s seeking therapy, so that’s alright.

But back to the self-service machines. When ever I am asked to use them by a member of staff I refuse and ask them if they realise they are doing themselves out of jobs.

It’s the same in the banks. Don’t staff realise that every time we are asked to pay in by machine their job is put at risk?

And I realise I run the risk of being accused of being a Luddite but I prefer to be served by a person. Machines do not give you customer service.

After several years of  protests by women about men serving them in lingerie shops King Abdullah finally announced 6 months ago that men would be banned from working in lingerie shops and also eventually in cosmetics shops.

This social revolution will apparently create 40,000 jobs for women in over 7,000 shops (apparently more lingerie is sold in Saudi Arabia than in France). The men who worked in lingerie shops previously were mainly from Pakistan.

The Grand Mufti isn’t happy saying that it is against God’s law permitting women to work and that it is a crime and prohibited by Islamic sharia.

The Ministry of Labour first floated the idea 3 years ago but the clerics issued a fatwa banning women from working. In return women called for boycotts on lingerie shops employing men.

This time, following the royal decree, the Ministry of Labour will be posting guards in the shopping malls to prevent the women workers being harassed.

At the same time many of you will have seen the horrific pictures of an female Egyptian protestor being dragged along the road as military police brutally kicked and beat her and stamped on her half naked body.

The almost surreal thing about the picture was the fact underneath her robes the unknown protestor was wearing a bright blue bra. That has now become a symbol of protest for Egyptian women and others farther afield.

 Here I am at work in my garden. I look a bit wooden I know but it was taken in the morning and I’m not at my best before 10 o’clock

This is my colleague who prefers to remain anonymous.

I thought he had steam coming out of his ears but he says he was just “thinking outside the box”

This is my colleague when I put him back in the box!

And finally the new intern who goes by the name H-bo. (We are preserving his anonymity because he’s demanding image rights).

As you can see he knows his way around an Apple keyboard – which needs regular maintenance as he gets confused and tries to eat it when he gets hungry, which is most of the time, and he still tends to dribble.

His spelling is awful too but that’s what spellchecker is for but we’ve switched off the voice commands as we don’t want him sounding like a Mac (or eating one but that’s a different story).

He also has a make-up artist and personal trainer so he’s planning his career very carefully even at such an early age.

Hope you enjoy our output in 2012!

My 5th most read post in 2011 was: was Dave; I’d be happy with £50k. This was in response to David Cameron’s ideas about measuring happiness and well-being.

My 4th most read post was:  The Golden Boy Syndrome about how parents favour one child above the others, particularly how Mums favour their sons.

My 3rd most read post was: So many “friends” and still lonely. This was one of my first critical pieces about the impact of Facebook in inhibiting real social interaction.

My 2nd most read post was: Apples and Pears – what fruit is your bum? about how body fat, and where it is stored on your body, can affect your health.

And my No 1 post in 2011, for the second year running, was Blushing – do men find it attractive? This was viewed more than twice as often as all the others in the top five in total, received the most comments,and was the one consistently read each day since I first posted it.

These posts were all written in 2010 and the reason for that might be that I moved about a third of the later ones to another, more life-style and health oriented, blog: uLearn2BU.

So thanks everybody for reading my blog. Apologies for taking down the comment facility but the amount of spam I began receiving was getting too big to manage.

Hope I can keep things going this year and that you enjoy them.

As those of you at this stage in your life will know; sometimes the mind is willing but the flesh is weak.

Anyway Hilary Rose in the Times says these are 10 things you shouldn’t be doing in midlife:

1. Buying a statement car – I had to give up the 2-seater soft top when my sons came back from uni and wanted a lift to football, otherwise I might still have one.
2. Thinking you are Mark Ronson – clever that as it assumes you know who he is. But basically iPod mixing and mashing and all that other stuff is not for you. Rose says stick to dancing like an adult/parent and embarrass your kids. That last bit is easy.
3. Re-thinking your wardrobe – Don’t buy a leather jacket or a tight t-shirt, stone-washed jeans or slip-on shoes. I disagree with the leather jacket, everyone should have at least one. But I don’t want to look like Jeremy Clarkson. And she says no comedy clothes items like ties or cuff-links which is fair enough.
4. Chat up anyone under 30 – or have an affair, as your wife will find out. This assumes you haven’t already had one, been found out, and realised how expensive divorce can be. So you may well  be single or Living Together Apart. Of course you might find yourself being chatted up by a 30-year old but not realise it. A better rule would be no-one younger than your kids, if you have any, and the Chinese say half your age plus 7 years (or did I make that up?) But in Finnish reindeer herder societies a 20 years age gap was believed to be the ideal to give offspring the best chance to reach maturity.
5. Think you’ve still got it – whatever it was you thought you had in the first place. If you still have it then use it or lose it!
6. Grow your hair – I think she means stop having haircuts because you can’t just turn your hair growth on and off. If you can grow it it keeps you warm in Winter and then you can have it shorter in hot weather. If you don’t have any left – tough shit! She doesn’t mention dyeing your hair (probably out of respect for Sir Paul)
7. Think that nostril hair is one of those things - I agree. Don’t have it, or ear hair for that matter. My former father-in-law referred to it as graveyard moss - enough said?
8. Pretend you understand or care about video games that teenagers play – as Rose says if you could then kids wouldn’t want to. I would just say don’t pretend you understand teenagers, full stop.
9. Take up an extreme sport – in mid-life that could include speed dating! But seriously if you want to live longer without serious injury or death don’t start in mid-life.
10. Remodel yourself in your girlfriend’s image – for example by using botox, bronzer and other cosmetics once the sole provence of women. And did you really think Beckham looked good in that sarong?

So thanks Hilary for the advice. That means I’m OK buying a new Fender Stratocaster guitar then? And you didn’t mention Thai brides, or Russian wives for that matter. Or tattoos or body-piercings.

I notice, by the way, that these all seem to be aimed at men. What about the rules for women who reach midlife or are they too much in denial of that fact?